Every single day I come home to increasingly nasty messages from a lady named Kate. Kate apparently works for some kind of credit card or collection agency and Kate has been trying to reach Gabriel for months. Kate and her company started by leaving daily robocall messages on my answering machine, but recently Kate has begun leaving human messages for our listening enjoyment.
Here's the thing … GABRIEL DOESN'T FRIGGIN' LIVE AT THIS NUMBER!!! Only two people live at this end of the phone line–Ambookgeek and Ambookgeek's Significant Other and neither of us has names that start with the letter G so I know for sure that neither of us is named Gabriel!!!
By the time I get home, Kate has gone for the day. I call her as directed at 1-800-699-2566 ext. 60752. An automated answering system asks me to enter my 16-digit credit card number for better service (which I friggin' don't have because I'm not friggin' Gabriel) and after two prompts I get sent to an operator who is unable to help me because there are "like, hundreds of Gabriel ______s in our system. You'll have to call back tomorrow."
OMFG!!! I friggin' hate collection agencies!!! I pay my friggin' bills on time and I have a really good credit score precisiely so I don't have to put up with the friggin' stress of getting called everyday except … I still keep getting friggin' calls everyday from nasty collection agencies!!!"
Why … For the love of god … Can't someone take my number and put it on a do not call list since … THE FRIGGIN' PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO CALL DOES NOT LIVE AT THIS NUMBER!!!
I will have to call Kate from my place of work during her friggin' work hours tomorrow.
Oddly enough, the people in the picture above have nothing to do with this post, but their picture comes up when you do a Google image search for kate gabriel … Kind of odd, huh?