on spring in the air …

Ah spring … Spring is the season when those who live in colder climates revel in the Earth's renewal.  Bare trees burst forth with new foliage.  Flowers blossom.  Fresh grass emerges and reaches for the nurturing warmth of the spring sunshine. 

For those of use who work in middle schools, however, spring can sometimes mean something else.  Spring fever.  During the spring our Frosh burst forth with new interest in the opposite sex.  Normally, normal and intelligent young women begin doing things like grabbing book bags that belong to handsome young Frosh men and running into the Girls' restroom squealing with the delight of their very original flirtations. 

When the crazy old people who work in the big building with lots of books knock (okay … pound …) on the door and demand that the book bag be brought out, L-O-N-G sessions of bathroom using and hand washing take place.  Being first time Frosh, these young women do not realize that crazy old people who work in big buildings with lots of books will, indeed, stand (Mr. Ambookgeek would even consider getting a stool to rest on if necessary) outside and wait for L-O-N-G periods of time in order to address them in our patented kind firm bordering on brutal manner … And we tend not to fall for the innocent batted eyes and the claim, "Oh … I was just using the washroom …"

"Um … Yeah … The using the bathroom part isn't why I'm standing here waiting for you sweetie pie …"

Lest ye mistakenly believe that spring fever only affects the fair Frosh women, let me assure you that Frosh men are highly susceptible to spring fever as well.  The symptoms of spring fever in Frosh men, however, manifest themselves in different ways than in Frosh women.  In Frosh men, young men with normally perfectly good manners, when infected by spring fever, suddenly think that they are on top of the world.  The best.  The brightest.  The most studly.  The most incredible. The MOST, MOST!!! 

"Um …. Yeah … The old people who work in the building with lots of books have seen it before and we're going to take your A-ttitude and make you eat your @#%$ … So the less you throw out, the less there will be to digest in the end … I'm just saying …"

And what of the younger children on campus?  Well … Spring fever is actually hard to detect in young ones in grade eight because basically when teens hit grade eight, they're pretty much 'holes for an entire nine month stretch.  It just is … So the crazy people who work in the big building with lots of books just accept that for what it is.  We are, after all, a committed lot, but we know when there just is no hope in winning.  We may be masochists, but we ain't stupid …

Which brings us finally to the sevies.  Sevies … Just six short months ago, they arrived at our doorstep.  Freshly scrubbed and wearing their wide eyed innocence on their faces for all to see … New shoes on their feet … Sheathed in new outfits … Freshly shorn locks billowing in the wind … New black Jansport book bags on their backs …

Alas … In the spring, sevies become become eighth graders … Long before their time.  In the spring, our middle school has two eighth grades as the true eighth graders have not yet had the courtesy to move on and become pleasant first semester Frosh. Two eighth grades … Double your pleasure … If you like 'holes …

But it is … This, people, is why the school year is designed as it is.  Just when the adults in the 'hood are about to lose it and consider a kamikaze run through the cafeteria, we get …

SPRING BREAK!!! SPRING BREAK!!! (Especially important as the Valium lick in t he faculty room had to be removed due to tight economic times and belt tightening …)

Calgon … Take me away … To Cancun … Teachers Gone Wild, baby … Teachers Gone Wild!!!

Happy spring to all …       


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