on alphas and betas …

I know that I write an awful lot about things that happen in my gym, but please understand that, that is because I live a very small life.  I go to work with the kiddies.  I go to Costco.  I go to Target.  And I go to the gym.  That doesn't leave a whole lot of other stuff to write about so this is what you get. 

Gyms are places with a lot of alpha people–particularly alpha male people.  Now, in the world of alphas and betas, when an alpha walks into a room, he believes that it is everyone else's responsibility to pay attention to him.  When we beta types enter a room, however, we tend to think that it is our responsibility to pay attention to everyone else in the room.  As a result of this alpha/beta dynamic, I find that I tend to eavesdrop a lot.  It is either that or I'm just a big nosy SOB.  Whatever … The upshot is that I tend to listen to other people's conversations.

Here are some snippets of conversations that I have heard recently:

Odd looking man with the pot belly to bodybuilder guy: "Can I ask you something off the record, because you have one of the best bodies in this gym.  Do you get hit on by the fags in here because now that I'm in shape, I'm finding that a lot of fags are hitting on me  …"  Hmmmmm … This is particularly interesting to me because I think that I know just about all of the guys who are "fags" and BELIEVE ME when I say that no self-respecting gay man that I know is going to hit on this fellow (though in fairness one never knows … there are people with pot belly fetishes … apparently).  I guess that "In shape …" can be a relative term, but … Hmmm … Dude, NO, I think not … I suspect, however, that this is more likely a case of AMDS (Alpha Male Delusion Syndrome) where the excess level of testosterone coursing through a man's veins causes him to look in the mirror and see a reflection much more attractive than can be seen by the rest of the population of the human race.  Also … I pay attention to who talks to who in the gym so I'm not exactly who these "fags" would be as I've never once even seen odd looking pot belly guy talking to ANYONE else.  Perhaps AMDS makes one see invisible fags, but I don' t know for sure.  I'd have to do more research on Wikipedia in order to answer that properly.

Young guy with the BIG nose to his posse of four just-out-of-high-school-but-may-not-have-gotten-actual-diploma dudes:  "Yeah … She always cries when she finds out I'm seeing another chick, but she can't break up with me."    Gentlemen … Sorry to tell you this, but frankly, none of you looks like much of a catch so I would highly recommend giving up the "playa" lifestyle.  The odds of a good outcome for you are very low.  If, however, you choose to continue to dabble in the playa life, I highly recommend finding some way of disabling the KABC feed on your TV because if that girl starts watching Oprah … There's gonna be some 'splaining to do!!!

That's all for now.  Ugly Betty is all new this evening!  My very small life just got a little bit bigger!!!  Yay!!!

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