Today I did one of those things that you do that people that you work with tease you about without mercy for, like, three years before it finally tapers off only to have the story resurface years later when you are about to leave the place or retire.
As I may have mentioned before, I ride a yellow school bus to an off-site parking spot due to construction on our school's campus I was working diligently at my desk this afternoon when I looked up at the clock saw that it was 2:25. Realizing that I was about to miss my bus, I packed up my computer, grabbed my stuff, called out my goodbyes to my boss and co-workers and SPRINTED out the door to the bus line up. As I desperately ran to make my bus, students saw me running and grabbed their things and made a beeline for the bus line up right behind me. Upon reaching the buses we all realized that it was 2:25 and the buses leave PROMPTLY at 3:30 daily. Upon returning to the big building, I was greeted by every single one of my co-workers relishing my return with the greatest of anticipation. This one is going to haunt me for a while, but sadly, it is not even close to being the most embarrassing thing that I've ever done.
I'm actually the kind of person that does MANY such things. One of the most memorable has come to be known among my group of friends as the "Meadowlark Incident"
after the famous player for the Harlem Globetrotters. I'm a tall guy (especially for an Asian dude), and because of this I have had a love-hate relationship with basketball since I was a little kid. People have always expected me to LOVE basketball, but I HATE it and I suck at it!!! Anyway … one night shortly after we graduated from college, I was out with a group of friends and I picked a basketball up from the backseat of my friend's car. I attempted to spin the ball on my finger only to have it fly into the bushes with surprising velocity. Being that I'm not rude I ran over, picked the ball up out of the bushes, and tossed it to my friend D. who was standing nearby. She tossed it back to me and I attempted to roll the ball down along the back of my right arm toward my left, crossing behind my neck, all the while whistling the tune that was always played while the Harlem Globtrotters warmed up. Just about the time that the ball rolled out of control and down my back, everyone standing around the circle, D. and I simultaneously got an unmistakable whiff of … DOG SHIT!!!
The freaking ball had apparently honed in on the wettest, grossest, stinkiest pile of dog shit in the history of dogs (Think St. Bernard diarrhea), and D. had a lot of it on her hands. I felt badly for getting dog shit on my friend, but honestly I felt much worse for me as I had dog diarrhea on my arms, in my hair, down the back of my neck, and down the back of my shirt. I literally ran over and had to try to wash it off by laying down and turning on the twelve-inch high water spigot that was, thankfully, available nearby. The worst part is that my friends had picked me up and took much delight in their collective refusal to take me home to change and shower so I had to hang out for the rest of the night feeling like the doggie diarrhea cootie boy!!! My friends called me Meadowlark for about three years after that.
These things just seem to happen to me. Perhaps that's why I'm such a bitter, mean person. 🙂