I'm not into the gym guy fist bash thing. You know what I mean, that greeting that guys (usually guys in baggy basketball shorts) do in the gym. They each hold out a fist and bash knuckle to knuckle in a very warm way that says, "I'm touching you as little as possible so, obviously, I'm not a fag …" Well, I'm old school so I hate that greeting.
When I taught second grade littlies, we always ended the day with H or H, also known as Hug or Handshake. When the kids lined up at the door to go home, we'd say goodbye at the end of the day with a hug or a handshake. Although I am male and single, I'm not a perv so each kid always got to choose whether they wanted a hug or a handshake. There were always a bunch of moms, dads, and an assortment of grands right outside on concourse when this occurred. It's sad, but given our paranoia about contact of any kind between adults and littlies these days I just want to keep the record straight. Anyway, a good handshake has always been important to me. I actually taught all my kids how to shake hands properly.
With your right hand, grasp the other person's hand firmly (not crushingly so) so the webbing between your thumb and index finger meet the same part of the other person's hand. Gently pump once or twice, but not like you are Laura Ingalls Wilder fetching water from the well for ma and pa …
Anyway, an experience at work this week shook my belief in the handshake to its core. I swim with a group of teachers before school two days a week. After our swim on Thursday morning, I entered the faculty mens’ locker room and someone was in one of the stalls doing his morning number two. We both applied proper mens’ locker room etiquette and did not acknowledge the existence of the other (FYI—men don’t like to acknowledge the existence of other men when they are naked, or in the process of peeing or crapping). It was freezing cold so I hopped into the shower right away and whoever was in the stall finished his business and left. Suddenly, I came to the realization that my co-worker … DIDN’T WASH HIS HANDS!!!!!
Okay, I’ve seen LOTS of guys fail to wash their hands after a pee, but after a crap and wipe??? You’ve got to be kidding me!!! Ick!!! Ick!!! Ick!!!
So anyway, I’m thinking that since I have no idea which of my co-workers is gross guy, it might be in my own best interests to rethink my resistance to the fist bash.
People are PIGS!!!