do you ‘ear what i ‘ear?

One of the gifts with which I was born seems to be the uncanny ability to eavesdrop.  When you work in a building with lots of books and lots of young people, as I do, you tend to hear things that you generally are not hear anyplace else.  Some examples:

Student arguing with friends: "Hey, Mr. Ambookgeek, Hawaii and Alaska are both islands, right?  'Cause when you look at a map, they're always down on the side or at the bottom …"


Student doing research with a teacher: "I'm having trouble with the geography question for my country."

Teacher: "Well, what is the name of the ocean that surrounds Italy?"

Student:  "The Holy Sea?"


Teacher to student leaning over a table in two-sizes-too-small-low-rise-jeans thus exposing quite a lot of "crack":  "Sweetie [teacher pointing] the part of your pant from here to here is called a rise … You need one that's much longer."


12-year-old student #1 studying at a table:  "If you weren't Jewish, what religion do you think you'd be?"

12-year-old-student #2:  "Ummmm, I don't know, maybe Buddhist, because as far as I know, I don't think that Buddhists have really tried to start wars and make everyone into Buddhists …"


Student #1 to group of friends:  "Okay, what do you think would look weirder, a dick without a pair of balls or a pair of balls without a dick?"

Ahhhhh … sweet youth!

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